


Let Me Go

by snaxarba



Series: Tomarry Works [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Ambiguous/Open Ending, First Tomarry Fic, Husbands, Implied Top Tom Riddle, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Internalized hatred, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Self-Hatred, Toxic Relationships, Unhealthy Relationships, implied Bottom Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 10:26:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12274509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snaxarba/pseuds/snaxarba
Summary: Harry was married to a man who had been cruel to him; but he also showered Harry with lavish gifts and affectionate kisses. He endured for a long time until one day, he couldn't bring himself to face the rest of his married life being abused by Tom Riddle. After making up his mind, Harry was to escape; but he was betrayed and Tom was never far from where Harry was.





	Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> Yo guys.  
> I've been reading Tomarry fics, and lemme tell you, boy the ones I read were dark asf. They were also very believable and explored their relationship in a manner which I usually stray away from, but the ones I read were just so carefully and brilliantly written. I strive to write like that one day. So, to all the people out there romanticising an abusive relationship; the turmoil is real. Especially when the victims are being manipulated. This is Harry being stuck between 'I love him, I love him not' and Tom being an absolute diCKWAD.  
> Also, I'm so sorry to Draco. He only wanted to do what he thought Harry wanted - he didn't mean to out him to Tom like that.

LET ME GO

 

It was all Tom’s fault. He hadn’t meant to do it, but he was so angry and annoyed at Harry, he couldn’t help himself. Harry was gone. A note on the bed and his ring was placed on the white sheets; one of the windows were opened and one of the cars had been taken. Why, oh why had he been so foolish? Tom looked at the crumpled note in his hand. He was sure he had locked the doors, but he didn’t expect Harry to escape from the window. It was a two-storey drop, not too far. How dare Harry leave him? He wasn’t serious, he wouldn’t _actually_ kill his husband! It was just a little bruise, Tom didn’t mean to almost asphyxiate Harry.

 

_Tom,_

_I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore. I love you._

_H_

 

Nobody got by his fingers that easily, and certainly not Harry. Harry was the only thing that mattered to Tom; his most coveted prize and he would just do about anything to retrieve his possessions back. Why would Harry love him, but leave at the same time? No, Harry had most probably not wanted to leave. Why was Harry being so unreasonable all the sudden? It wasn’t as if he was a stranger to Tom’s behaviours. They were three years married, that should count for _something_.

 _Maybe I ought to give him a visit_ , Tom thought.

 

*    *    *

 

Harry was holed up in his old house, his doors locked and a pistol in hand. He had no fucking idea that Tom was so insane. He thought his husband was just possessive, but he didn’t expect to get strangled. The bastard wanted all of Harry, and Harry thought it was sweet at first. Now, it was just worrying. Harry sat down on a chair, looking over the documents he had the Weasley twins create and clutched tighter to his gun. No way was Tom giving up so fast. He needed to be ready and escape. He couldn’t leave the country until he made new passports. His old one was snatched by the git.

He knew he had rushed everything. He should’ve waited it out before marrying Tom. Harry could almost hear Hermione’s smug ‘ _I told you so_ ,’ and he deserved it. He had married a man who he only knew for six months, but it just felt so _right_. He was in love - still in love to this day - but Tom was dangerous. He didn’t know what to expect. Harry was often fearful, angry and frustrated at him, always wanting Tom to stop his controlling behaviour. It never appeared when they were dating. He really did not know his own husband.

A few years into their marriage, Tom became unbearable. He would often lock Harry up in their room, treating him like a child. Goodness sake, he was only a couple of years younger than Tom! But maybe that was what he got for marrying at the young age of eighteen. Blimey, as soon as he was an adult, he goes off doing this tripe. What a naïve boy he had been. Harry often drunk himself to sleep, or became so exhausted after being angry, he would crash down. And every time Harry woke up, he would find Tom next to him. It was eerily easy to forgive Tom. No more. Harry would have no more.

Maybe the signs were there all along. Harry was just too blinded by his love, he didn’t see his own husband become the monster it had led him to now. His throat was hurting, and his eyes were sore from crying. What a horrible man Tom was. But he had given Harry the world, and he loved Tom more than anything and anyone. What a stroke of bad luck.

His phone rang, startling him out of his wits. Thankfully, he didn’t pull the trigger on the pistol.

 _Shit_.

Draco was calling him. Oh, thank God. He would be able to leave soon. Stowing his pistol away and getting up from the chair, Harry moved to the kitchen.

“Did you get it?” Harry croaked.

“ _I’m outside._ ”

“Were you followed?”

“ _No_.”

“Okay, I’m opening the door for you.” Harry set down his things, pocketing his phone.

Draco Malfoy had been helping the twins with his need to get a passport and a visa on him asap. He needed all the help he could get and he was forever thankful for what Draco was doing for him. He had excellent connections within the Ministry. It had sped up the process of his passport by three days. Perhaps it was because Harry had pulled Draco out of a house fire once and saved his life, but whatever the reason, he was thankful for it.

Opening the door, Harry beamed before his stomach dropped. There, on the other side, was Tom. He looked as handsome as ever, his dark eyes twinkling and his mouth brought up to a small smirk. The black curls on his head were still styled from his previous business trip. Tom had come to retrieve Harry the moment he stepped out of that goddamned plane. He felt his blood freeze over.

“Hello, darling.”

“Tom,” Harry’s voice trembled. His vocal cords were strained and the dread filling his body threatened to emerge in the form of tears. His breath hitched and his grip on the door handle tightened. He regretted not taking his gun with him. His eyes flicked over to the familiar pale face of Draco, who looked apologetically at Harry. Betrayal. This was what the cold inferno that was turning his insides out was. Harry growled.

“You said you’d help me, you absolute cock.”

Draco had the decency to look ashamed. He _should_ be. He had broken Harry’s trust willy nilly. Harry should’ve checked through the window first, he should’ve seen if Draco was telling the truth or not. He should’ve know Draco would rat Harry out when it came to Tom. Bloody bastard.

“Now, now, Harry.” Tom crooned. “He _is_ helping you. Helping _us_. We’re going back home.”

“This is my home,” he braced himself to flee. “And you’re not welcome here.”

“Baby, we’re married. You _belong_ to me,” the taller man stepped closer. “Come home.”

Harry bolted. He slammed the door before running out the back entrance. He could hear muffled curses and the sound of Tom’s barked orders. No doubt he was going to chase Harry down. Then, he heard the engines. _Fuck_. Harry would never be able to outrun a car. But still, he tried. There was nothing to hide his body from his pursuer, no bushes or trees. It was too barren, there were only flat roads and grasses. And in no time, a car had pulled up and there were other people running after Harry.

“Don’t follow me!” Harry shouted, breathless.

They didn’t relent. Harry had perfected the arts of running away, it was one of his many skills growing up. But it seemed that Tom had hired professional sprinters, because they were hot on his heels. One of the men reached out to Harry, so he smacked him in the face and stopped short, running through the overgrown grass field. He needed to shake them off, he needed to go. Tom was dangerous, he was controlling and possessive. Harry would be wise to stay away from him; no matter how much he loved the man.

It was a losing battle. Harry knew it before he even started. He was chased down at every corner, his eyes stung from the harsh sunlight and sweat dripped down in rivulets down his back. He felt it, a pair of hands dragging his arm back. But he still struggled. Even when another pair of hands took his waist and held him back, Harry fought back. His plaid shirt ripped, the shirt underneath it was stretched along with whoever was gripping at it.

Over the horizon, Harry longed for the freedom. Tears streamed down his face as his efforts were wasted. He didn’t want Tom anymore, no matter how much he loved him. Harry wanted to escape, go back to the bar that they met in and warn his past self to _never_ accept going back to the man’s house, no matter how lovely he seemed. Looks can be deceiving, and Harry had been charmed like a snake. Harry just wanted to rest. To not worry over Tom and be hurt every time he was out for a ‘business trip’. Who knew what the man did. Harry couldn’t even finish his university! Harry wanted his uncaring childhood days back.

He was dragged back to a car where Tom awaited for him. Harry closed his eyes, his face scrunched in an expression of anguish and defeat. His lower lip trembled and he pressed the heels of his palm into his eyes, hard. Was he really to spend his entire life with Tom? He didn’t care how handsome, how wealthy, how smart the man was. Harry just wanted to be loved, not to be handled like a prized object. He didn’t want to be berated for every fault he had. He didn’t want to be carried off to the bedroom and have Tom do whatever he wanted to Harry’s unwilling body.

 _But that’s a lie, isn’t it?_ Harry thought. His body often betrayed him, always pliant for Tom’s use. His heart squeezed with disgust, his mind screamed with no, but his body, his mouth, his voice… they were always for service to Tom. Harry felt like a whore, a slut used for his husband’s pleasures.

“Harry, baby,” Tom wrapped his arm around Harry’s sobbing figure. “It’ll be alright. You’ll be in my care from now on.”

Harry’s tears streamed down harder. His breath hiccuped and his body betrayed him again. He leaned in closer to Tom, resting his bowed head against his familiar heat and Tom’s scent calmed him down.

 _You weak shit_ , Harry sneered at himself. _Can’t get away from the one person you claim you hate_.

Why, oh why couldn’t his body listen to his mind for a second? Why couldn’t his heart calm down and listen to logic? He didn’t want this anymore, he would much rather be in campus than the large empty house he lived in by himself. Tom was hardly there. When he was, he was there to shower Harry with gifts, expecting Harry’s mouth or arse or both in return. To dress Harry up like a doll and use him until Tom was sated. Who in the world would want to be whipped, beaten, choked or _used_ in a relationship? Harry got that there were kinks, but it was between two or more willing partners. Not some barely an adult boy who was frightened and often injured during those rounds.

They arrived back to Tom’s house. Well, it was technically his house too, but it felt empty to him. Nothing said that Harry was attached to the place; there were his shoes, his favourite mug, his clothes. Most of his possessions were still back in Devon, along with the Weasleys. He would never see them again. Not after the stunt he pulled - and failed. Tom had his hand around Harry’s waist, pulling him in.

“Thank you for your service, Mr. Malfoy.”

Harry couldn’t look at the smarmy prat. He had broken his trust, handing him back to the person who made his life miserable. What a shit cunt.

“Come say thanks to your ex-schoolmate, Harry.” Tom forced his chin up.

With red rimmed eyes, Harry glared hard at Draco. A fucking monster, betrayed all trust Harry gave him and all the secrets Harry shared were spilled. He led Harry back into the devil’s den, he was unredeemable. Next time there was a fire, Harry would watch Draco burn. He would watch his skin being scorched by unimaginable suffering. There was no gratefulness in Harry’s eyes, the heated rage was untamed as he said in clipped tones:

“Thanks, Malfoy.”

In that instant, Draco regretted outing Harry. He looked mutinous, his face held by Mr. Riddle’s long fingers and grinning wolfishly at Harry’s defiance. Draco was glad that a glare could not kill, because if it did, Harry would’ve already skinned Draco and roasted him alive. He thought he was doing the right thing, but the crippling hatred and agonising pain was etched into Harry’s beautiful, young face. His throat was purple and his plaid shirt was in tatters. There was dirt on his inside shirt and his jeans, which was ripped at the knee. There was nothing joyful about Harry’s appearance.

Harry watched as Draco turned and left. He wanted to scream bloody murder, but that would result in Tom locking Harry up for the whole week. Fine, fine. If that was how Tommy dearest wanted to have Harry, he would give it. He pushed away from Tom’s side and ran up the stairs. Going into one of the guest bedrooms, Harry locked the door from the inside and took the key inside with him. Nobody could get in now.

“Harry,” Tom pounded on the door. “Harry, listen to me.”

“Go away, please.” Harry choked out, his voice giving out.

“Harry, honey…” he could imagine Tom leaning his head on the door, unable to get in. “Please. Listen to me. I won’t do that anymore, I won’t hurt you. I’ll do any -”

“Tom, do you love me?” Harry cut him off.

“Of course, baby. I love you so much.”

“Then why do you leave me? Why do you always find a way to torture me? I’m your husband,” his voice cracked. “I’m your bloody husband.”

“Love, I’m so sorry. I swear, I won’t be out as much.”

Fat chance. Tom was always out, they _had_ this conversation over and over again. He knew how it panned out. Tom would stay for a day or two, before he was away again. And he never came home for anything. On their anniversary, Tom would bring gifts to Harry which he loved for the first two years, then a shag where Harry would be hurt, but he would always forgive Tom. He always said to himself ‘ _Tom would never do it again_ ’. How delusional was he? On the third year, Harry was getting sick of it. He wasn’t a whore! You couldn’t just _buy_ his love and then fuck him like a prostitute.

“You’re lying.” Harry sobbed. “You always lie to me. Just let me go, Tom.”

“I won’t do that. I _can’t_. I love you too much.”

“No you don’t.”

Tom was silent. Harry started to think that he had left after being silent for so long. Then a soft sigh escaped from the other side of the door.

“Open up, Harry.”

Harry trembled. No, he wouldn’t. Opening the door will only lead to catastrophes.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

 _Harry, don’t open it_. But his hand was reaching out. Maybe Tom wouldn’t hurt him this time. He sounded so sincere. _Harry! No!_

“Please, Harry,” Tom’s voice cracked.

 _He wouldn’t hurt me anymore_ , Harry’s heart said to his brain. _Tom said he loves me_.

Turning the key from the hole, Harry pulled the door handle down, hearing the soft click before opening the door. Tom stood back, taking in Harry’s dishevelled state before he scooped Harry into a hug. He peppered Harry’s face with light kisses, brushing the tears away and holding onto Harry so tightly. _He’s doing it again_ , Harry’s brain stated. _He’s going to ruin you_. And with Tom’s hands roaming about his body, Harry agreed with his mind.

“Harry, don’t run away from me ever again.” Tom said, kissing his jaw. “If I find you doing that again.” he moved to Harry’s ear. “I’ll be very angry.” Tom pulled on Harry’s earlobes.

A choked sob escaped from his mouth. This was his life now. Being married to Tom Riddle was like being caged by a Demon. There was no way out.

“Now, I want you to do exactly as I say. This will be how you apologise to me.”

Harry buried his face into Tom’s shoulder. Yes, this was how he was going to repay everything for the rest of his life. Bound to a man who was cruel, who would not hesitate to hurt him and who manipulated Harry beyond what was humanly possible. And Harry was stuck in his web, his ‘love’. Harry loved Tom Riddle too much for his own good.

 _God help me_ , Harry silently prayed to some other deities up above.

“Let’s begin, shall we?” a menacing grin appeared on his face, his dark eyes boring into Harry’s frightened green and he was pushed harshly on the bed.

Harry found himself holding onto a mental rosary in his hand and let Tom do what he pleased. He had long missed mass repeatedly. Could he really pray to a God which he had ignored so often? Well, with Harry’s position, he would try anyway. With a hasty movements, Harry was naked under Tom’s predatory gaze, writhing underneath his touch.

This was his life now. And until he decided to end it, it will always be like this.

Tom would never let him go.


End file.
